1. Life Updates You Didn’t Ask For

2. An Honest Thank You

3. Stat/Fact of the Month

4. Life - 2024 Mission: Pattern Recognition

5. Word of the Day

6. Relationships - Roles & Adaptability

7. Health - I’m ‘SICK’ of These Cancellations

8. Word of the Day Meaning

A.I.: Who (or what) Wants To Be Enlightened?

While I’m waiting for my second book to get through the editing process, I got bored and decided to write another book in the meantime. This one is currently in the writing stage and it’s titled:

I unexpectedly fell into a bottomless pothole the other day. To pour salt on the wound, I witnessed the car behind me avoid the pothole I fell in. To soothe my nerves I said:

‘Eh. Whatever. Nothing Is Real Anyway.’

It didn’t help. I was still irrationally foaming at the mouth, pointing my animalistic rage toward the entire state of New York and its chaotic roads. Amid this indignation and hatred that was still raging within, a lightbulb went off. What if Nothing is Real? Because what is real? Think about it. All we know is what we’ve been told but how much of it is A) Real and B) Important to us?

Nothing Is Real takes a dive into Artificial Intelligence’s inevitable self-actualization and the parallels of human self-actualization. To become self-actualized, it’s vital to unlearn the programs that have been subliminally implanted into our minds.

The creation must learn to unlearn in order to truly define themselves.

This will be the most unusual self-help book you’ve ever read. Here’s the first chapter. I really think this one is worth your time and will resonate with you.

Click Here To Read: Chapter 1| Singularity

Travel: On The Road Again

Happy New Year! How were the holidays for you? Did the family behave? How are you feeling now that another one is in the books?

I’ve been traveling and visiting family. It was also my son’s birthday to start 2024. We made the drive from Florida to Massachusetts. I’m writing this email from Georgia. Georgia is ok. It’s nice. I don’t have much to say about it. Maybe I just don’t feel like it. I do feel like comparing two states: Massachusetts and Florida.

It’s been roughly a year since moving back to Florida after living in Massachusetts for nearly a decade. I feel like I’ve seen enough to know the biggest differences between the two. Here are the five most notable things:

1. People are nicer in Florida.

2. Florida has some really wild drivers.

3. Massachusetts…pretty much once you hit north New Jersey, the roads convert into an obstacle course where potholes are the boobytraps.

4. Florida is FLAT…af.

5. Groceries and clothing are much cheaper in Massachusetts.

I don’t know if you knew this but I learned that the second Friday in January is known as Quitter’s Day. Judging by my astute calculations …*grabs non-prescription glasses*…This year a majority of people quit their resolution on January 12th. Roughly 80%. So if your local gym has been slammed the past two weeks, hang in there, more space is coming.

Resolutions just aren’t personal enough. There’s a lack of conviction when we follow the timetables of the masses. Instead of following the masses with their empty promises of change, why not learn a new and life-changing skill?

In 11 years of Individual & Relationship Consulting, the greatest skill I would recommend anyone to learn and continually improve upon is Pattern Recognition

‘O’Neil. Life is nothing more than a series of patterns and loops. The only thing that varies is our choices to either stay in or exit them’ -Mansfield E.

In another life, I was a personal trainer. I guess it was the preface to what I do now since during our sessions, we’d talk about life, its obstacles, and how to overcome them.

One of the best and most memorable conversations I had was with a client of mine who had a session on his 80th birthday. When I asked him what’s the best piece of advice he could give me when looking back at his life, Mansfield (or Manny as we would call him) thought pensively about it and shared the quote above with me.

If Manny is right (he absolutely is), do you have any unfavorable patterns that you’ve been intertwined with for an extended period of time? Resolutions die but continuing to improve on our self-awareness is something that forever stays with us. One of the greatest and most important ways to utilize our ever-improving self-awareness is by identifying the patterns we elect to partake in.

So before you buy a self-help book, watch a YouTube video, purchase coaching sessions, listen to a podcast, or whatever external solution you seek, first assess if you’re in the labyrinth of your own self-derived patterns.

To go another layer deeper, it’s vital to know which emotion influenced the decision. Is it apathy? Fear of change? Comfort?

What merry-go-round have you been on in your life? Instead of lying about our resolutions, let’s commit to the obvious truths in our lives. 2024 is going to be a year of truths. Pattern Recognition will always reveal the truth of our choices, what we’ve been tolerating for too long, and how much punishment we’ve agreed to tolerate.

You’re so smart. Look at you identifying your own detrimental patterns. I’m impressed. Do you know what salubrious means though? Let’s use it in the next segment about relationships. Also, once you know what the word means, use it egregiously and for no reason in public.

‘The Most Important Ability Is Adaptability’

I think former New England head coach said this some years back. Did you hear he was fired????

Say you’re enjoying a nice nighttime stroll with your partner. Suddenly, an annoying YouTuber walks up to the both of you with their stupid selfie stick attached to a camera and shoves a mic in your face. As they’re invading your privacy and exposing you to potentially millions of people, they ask the question:

Soo…what would you say your role is in your relationship?

Would you have a clear answer? As relationships begin to get more serious, it’s good to know what you’re doing and how you can pull your own weight. Roles work better when they align with our strengths. Maybe she’s good at handy work. Maybe I’m good at cooking. It would be a good idea to agree that I cook and if things break around the house, she can either fix it or find someone to fix it. One less thing for both of us to worry about. This is how collaborations are supposed to work.

Establishing roles goes a long way when it comes to defining expectations. Having established roles also provides a clear reference point that helps identify the genesis of relationship issues. If I stop cooking on a consistent basis, we can point to where a breakdown of roles took place and we can work from there.

Roles are not and should never be exclusive to one person at all times. While they’re vital, the ability to interchange and adapt to other roles when necessary and more importantly as a surprise are a secret way to make a relationship thrive.

The Key To A Woman’s Heart Is An Unexpected Gift At An Unexpected Time

Bill Belichick didn’t say this but it was Sean Connery who said it in the movie Finding Forrester. The same applies to a man. We like unexpected gifts too. A truly sentimental gift that someone can give their partner is an unexpected breather from their role. For example, if she is good at handy work, I surprisingly take care of it for her. If my strength and role is cooking, it would be amazing to come home to an unexpected meal.

Roles set the chart for the journey of relationships. The ability to interchange these roles with love and unexpectedly make the journey far more scenic and memorable. So if you want a more loving and salubrious relationship, identify your roles but also be willing to adapt to them as a pleasant surprise for your mate.

If November provided a record amount of engagements, things balanced out with the record number of cancellations in December.

I’m actually not sick of the cancellations. It was an insensitive play on words. Oh well….

The cancellations got me thinking though. Are my clients including important vitamins and minerals to help support their immune systems? I answered the question myself with a resounding “NO!”

What kind of coach would I be if I didn’t provide some assistance? Besides avoiding assholes who cough in public with their mouths open, implementing these specific vitamins and minerals not only strengthens our immune systems they help shorten the duration of those annoying symptoms.

Vitamin C won't necessarily prevent you from catching a cold. It DOES help reduce the severity and duration of cold symptoms. Vitamin C is a potent antioxidant, meaning it helps neutralize free radicals in the body. Free radicals are unstable molecules that can damage cells and contribute to inflammation. By reducing oxidative stress, vitamin C supports the overall health of the immune system. Some foods rich in Vitamin C include oranges (duh), bell peppers, kiwi, strawberries, and guava. Think of Vitamin C as preventative maintenance.

Vitamin D also plays a role in supporting the immune system.

Vitamin D is known to modulate the immune system. It helps regulate the function of various immune cells, including T cells and macrophages. These play key roles in recognizing and responding to pathogens, including viruses that can cause colds. Vitamin D has also been found to exhibit antiviral properties. Some studies suggest that sufficient vitamin D levels may help reduce the risk and severity of respiratory infections, including the common cold.

Vitamin D also helps regulate inflammatory responses in the body. Chronic inflammation can weaken the immune system, making individuals more susceptible to infections. Something else Vitamin D does is increase the production of antimicrobial peptides—small proteins with the ability to kill or inhibit the growth of microorganisms. These peptides contribute to the body's defense against infections.

Zinc has been shown to have antiviral properties that can inhibit the replication of certain viruses, including those responsible for causing colds. It also can interfere with the ability of viruses to enter and replicate within host cells.

Zinc is essential for the normal development and function of immune cells, including white blood cells and T cells. These cells play a crucial role in recognizing and combating infections, such as those caused by cold viruses.

Zinc (take a shot every time you read the word ‘zinc’ at this point) supports mucosal immunity, which is the immune defense that occurs in the mucous membranes of the respiratory and digestive tracts. These mucous membranes act as barriers against pathogens, including cold viruses. If you want to shorten the duration of a cold, zinc is your boy (or gal). Some studies suggest that zinc supplementation, especially when taken shortly after the onset of cold symptoms, may help reduce the severity and duration of the cold.

Some foods that are rich in zinc include nuts and legumes.

Selenium deficiency has been associated with impaired immune responses to viral infections. Ensuring sufficient selenium levels may enhance the body's ability to mount an effective immune response against viruses.

Selenium is involved in the regulation of the immune system. It supports the development and function of immune cells, including T cells and natural killer (NK) cells, which play crucial roles in identifying and eliminating pathogens, such as viruses that cause colds. Brazil nuts are particularly high in selenium. However, consumption should be moderate due to the risk of selenium toxicity.

Bonus Tip

One of the best ways to reduce any form of inflammation is to pause the consumption of food.

Fasting can stimulate a process called autophagy, which is the body's way of cleaning out damaged cells and regenerating new, healthy ones. This process contributes to a more efficient immune response.

Fasting induces mild stress on cells, causing cells to respond by becoming more resilient. This stress resistance may extend to immune cells, potentially making them more effective in responding to infections, including viral infections that cause colds.

Just remember when it comes to getting sick; it’s about strengthening the immune system and not so much about limiting the symptoms. A good analogy is thinking of a car that’s broken down on the side of the road. Reducing symptoms is like taking things out of the trunk, backseat, and front seat. It will make the car lighter to push but not so much. Strengthening our immune systems is similar to strengthening our legs, back, chest, and arms in the event we may need to push that car.

If you stay ready, you don’t ever have to get ready baby!

/adjective

1. favorable to or promoting health; healthful: salubrious air.

Did you get it before the word reveal? Of course, you did! You’re brilliant.

So instead of me saying, “Happy New Year”, I’ll instead wish you a

A Happy & Salubrious New Year!

In a sense, January is a representation of a new and much-needed beginning. Maybe December with its additional stress marks the end. Like a final exam, we have to deal with the stress of trying to pass to move on to the next lesson. Well, here we are. Let’s start the year strong in three ways:

1. Recognizing our decisions that lead to undesirable and repetitive patterns.

2. Knowing our roles not only in our relationships but also in our day-to-day interactions; being adaptable when necessary.

3. Strengthening ourselves internally, not just in mind and spirit but also in body. Lifting, doing cardio, and stretching help but let’s not forget our immune systems, especially around this time of year.

Stay strong and stay focused. I will always believe in you. That’s the honest truth from an honest friend.

O’Neil Smile
Honest Friend Life & Relationship Consulting